someday

afraid of learning about myself again
afraid of all the new lessons in store
afraid of the anger turning into hurt again
afraid of opening myself up again

because every time i let someone in
i get hurt... a little more of me gets ripped apart
a little deeper the wounds go
always letting in the "wrong" people...
the ones who put me last in their lives
the ones who don't care...who don't respect me

so i close off a little more of me each time this happens
and i wonder if that's all there is...that's all that's out there
or if i'll always feel this way...sad...lonely...alone...angry

the anger gets directed at myself...
for once again putting myself in this position
of losing another piece of myself...
of my heart getting stepped on a little more

someday things will be different for me