valentine's day ruminations

to not be an afterthought in someone's life
to not be placed last in order of importance in someone's life
to not be lied to and cheated on

to be loved
to be cherished
to be respected

to find that person who will make me laugh and who will laugh with me
to find that person who will be happy with the quiet times we share together
to find that person who will enjoy my friends and introduce me to their friends
to find that person who truly wants to spend time with me just because i'm me

are these such difficult things? apparently so...because i haven't found them yet
they are things i am seeking...things i hope for...dreams i have...

makes me wonder how i can miss them so much when i haven't ever had them in my life for any length of time...i think i had glimpses of them over the years but they were so fleeting that they just left me with a want; a desire...

once again, alone on valentine's day...a day designed for couples...reinforcement for those who are lacking that special someone...lonliness intensified...leaving me wondering if i'll ever find the things i seek....if i'll ever find someone to hold me with tenderness, to care about me, to fall in love with...