ease of existence

2 weeks of harmony
peace, serenity
ease of existence

2 weeks of heaven
ecstasy, pleasure
ease of existence

2 weeks of happiness
love, contentment
ease of existence

seeking, searching
for an ever elusive concept
ray of hope, feels like a dream
wishing, praying
to hold onto this fleeting feeling
for longer than a moment
before it is snatched from my grasp
before the hurt sets in
that neverending heartache
that seems to lie in wait
for the chance to dim my sights

shut the door
lock it tight
keep out the hurt
dull the heartache
it's there, just below the surface
can feel it
the knot, the pain
fighting to keep it down
bury it deeper inside
where it waits patiently
for my unsuspecting soul

insecurity running rampant through my brain
working on keeping it at bay
listen to the words
take them at face value
believe that what is said is what is meant
and the insecurity will diminish

two weeks

when she was here with me
two weeks of ecstasy, harmony, bliss

now everything reminds me of her
lonliness, sadness, desire, longing

smile when i think of her
smile when i remember the visit

hear her voice in my head
feel her touch on my body

return to the happiness again
in her arms i want to be

forward i go...steadily forward
waiting until i can see her again

focused on fear

fear....focused on fear
fear of life
fear of love
fear of me

scared....focused on fear
scared to face reality
scared to let feelings show
scared of me