the search

i search
i seek
always looking for the place within
the one that provides the needed peace
the happiness that i yearn for
but it's buried so deep
i only scratch the surface for brief instances
then it vanishes once more

so again
i search
i seek
continually striving to find that inner sanctuary
the serenity
the calmness
the little bit of heaven that will lead to a wealth of possibilities

i'm going to try to cultivate a garden of beauty
within myself
so maybe the colors of the rainbow will be reflected inside
and my perception of the world will no longer be clouded
but will be clear with the endless hope and joy of a newly developed world

despair

that unrelenting despair
engulfing all of my thoughts
doesn't take much these days
too many goodbyes
not enough hellos

tears are held at bay
just waiting to overflow the reservoir
one more incident to tip the scales
in favor of the tears

that unrelenting despair
engulfing all of my thoughts
doesn't take much these days
too many wrongs
not enough rights

too many negative things happening at once
not enough positive things to keep me balanced
waiting for the next one that will send me over the edge
into the deepest well of darkness
into the abyss that will signal my demise